The other day I was watching a show where an engaged couple broke up, and there was some debate about whether the woman was required to return the engagement ring.  This is a hot issue that is very much debated.

The etiquette I had always heard was that it depended on who broke off the engagement: If the woman broke off the engagement, it was her responsibility to give the ring back.  If the man broke off the engagement, however, she had no obligation to return the ring, and even if selling the jewelry for cash is what she chooses to do with it.

Although many people do look at it that way, others say that the ring should always be returned, regardless of who broke off the engagement.  Of course, if the ring is an heirloom from the woman’s family she shouldn’t have to return it.  If it was given as a present, for example on her birthday or at Christmas, it also shouldn’t have to be returned because then it is a more unconditional gift (whereas an engagement ring given at any other time could be considered a conditional gift, on the condition of the marriage going through).

But did you know there are actually laws that dictate whether a woman should have to return the engagement ring in case of a breakup?  Eight states consider an engagement ring a conditional gift, meaning that if the condition (marriage) is not met, the ring must be returned:

• Iowa
• Kansas
• Michigan
• New Jersey
• New Mexico
• New York
• Pennsylvania
• Wisconsin

In these eight states, the ring must be returned regardless of who broke up with whom.  In California, on the other hand, a woman is legally obligated to return the ring if she breaks off the engagement — but a man has no right to expect the ring back if he breaks up with her.  Only one state — Montana — has a legal basis for the ring never having to be returned, no matter who breaks it off.

Obviously there is a lot of disagreement between law and etiquette.  Following etiquette is the nice thing to do, but be absolutely certain you also follow the law — there are no reprecussions for breaking etiquette (except maybe how people think of you afterward), but you don’t want to have to be dragged into court for breaking the law.

It has been nearly seven years since I became youth pastor at our church and it has definitely been the most rewarding experience of my life.  Not only do I get to interact with these youth, but I get to be a part of their spiritual growth and awakening.

One of my favorite events throughout the year is the youth conference that we attend.  It is a chance for the youth groups in our region to get together in fellowship.  It takes place over an entire weekend and we have a great time.

We have decided that we will be attending again this year and there will be a lot of preparations that need to be done before we are ready to go.  It is out of state, so we will have to raise some funds so that we have the money to attend.

The planning committee will be getting together on Friday to go over the possible fundraising options including bottle drives, a car wash, and we are also looking at having a bake sale.  Hopefully we can raise enough money so that we don’t have to ask the congregation for money, but we will have to see what happens.

Even though there is a lot of work to do before we get there, we know that the time put in will be worth it.

Today my mom and I rented a booth in a local doll and toy show for the second year in a row.  As always, it was a lot of fun, but this year was especially lucrative — we brought in well over three times what we usually make.  My mom and I aren’t really sellers — we collect hard plastic dolls from the 1950s, and just sell the ones we don’t want anymore as our collections grow and change.

I was really impressed with the show this year.  It is always held in the same place, in the ballroom and lobby at a local hotel.  The hotel has wheelchair ramps, handicapped parking spaces with plenty of space on either side for a wheel chair lift to operate, and various other luxuries such as a lovely hotel dining room. We found out a little too late that there was even a special room rate for attendees this year — if they do that again next year we plan on staying in the hotel.

I don’t know why it was, but the show was especially busy today, and we sold a lot of stuff.  Most of our customers were the folks we always see there, many of them dealers themselves, but perhaps they were buying more than usual because they were so encouraged by the good sales themselves.

Whatever it was, we really had a great time, and look forward to selling at the show again next year!

I’ve changed my mind over the years about how important an education is.  When I was younger, I didn’t think it was that important — I went right to work after high school, and worked full time for four years.  During this time, I worked minimum-wage child care teacher jobs and dealt with a lot of uneducated folks before realizing how much of a difference education makes — not the least in the type of people you work with and befriend.

So I went back to school, got my degree, and got my first professional job.  After about a year there, I went into business for myself, which I’ve been doing ever since.  Getting an education changed my life — not the least because it changed the type of people that I befriended.  I’m still friends with some of my old friends, but we have less in common anymore, and from an outsider’s perspective I can see how their lives get harder every year.

This is why I believe in emphasizing your educational achievements.  Whether that means just putting your degree and other achievements (such as GPA, associations, etc.) on your resume, or buying a nice university diploma frame and prominently displaying your diploma, indulge yourself and show off a little.  You’ve earned it, and that’s why I think diploma framing is such a great idea!

It seems like it has been ages since my wife and I had a chance to get away and go on a trip together.  Sure, we take trips with the kids, but sometimes it is just nice to spend time alone.  In fact, I would almost argue that it is an important part to having a healthy marriage.

So, my wife and I have finally found a way that we can have a romantic weekend: her mother will come and babysit the kids.  Though it will be short, we are looking forward to the peace and quiet.

We have decided that Price Rupert will be our destination of choice.  I was there as a child and it was one of the most amazing places that I ever visited and I wanted to share it with her.  There are also some great deals on coast accommodation at this time of year, so I know we will be able to keep costs down.

There are a few tourist attractions that I want to show her and maybe we’ll have a chance to take the ferry to Queen Charlotte Islands and check out some of the places I visited in my youth.  Even if we don’t see anything it will just be nice to spend some time with the love of my life alone for a change.